


a no good very bad week

by EasyPeasyPanic



Series: all of my founders era fics [15]
Category: Naruto
Genre: And he's done with it, He's done with this whole situation, I wrote this last night in a nyquil induced high so take it as you will, M/M, Madara just wants to have a date, Team Tobirama, Team Tobirama is a bunch of little shits, they're terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23416240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EasyPeasyPanic/pseuds/EasyPeasyPanic
Summary: Team Tobirama's stealing all of Tobirama's things. Tobirama's confused and irritated. Madara's trying to get his date night.Honestly, it's just a mess.
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Series: all of my founders era fics [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718458
Comments: 7
Kudos: 277





	a no good very bad week

* * *

The _first thing_ out of Madara's mouth is: 

"I'm not fucking dealing with whatever this is." 

"Madara." Red eyes peer up at him from their place beneath the large oak wood desk that Hashirama had created a few years back. The pale man shifted, his face barely lifting up. "Get down before they see you."

"What the hell are you _doing_ ?" He fumed, throwing down the four large scrolls and the large stack of paperwork on the desk. Madara crossed his arms, scowling down at the kneeling man. "You left all of this on your desk, and then the mission desk person came with _more_ because it was your bright idea to have someone actually read through the reports, and of course it's supposed to be _you_ and--"

" _Get. Down._ " Tobirama hissed, motioning at him to lower himself. As annoyed as he was, he crouched down, glaring at the albino. "They'll see you."

" _Why_ are you hiding in your brother's office?" Madara demands again, although none of his questions seem to be close to getting answered as the man pours out his weapon's pouch. 

There are no weapons in it. A small bag of candies and a few empty chicken skewers tumble out, and his... _something_ (lover? boyfriend?) cursed. Actually let out a long string of profanities that would put the most grizzled shinobi to absolute _shame_ , and he sort of just _stares_ at him in shock. 

"What the fuck."

Tobirama's head is in his hands. "I don't know why I asked for students. _Stupid_ . I don't know why I thought I'd like any of them--" He groaned loudly, and not in the sexy way either. Madara almost lost his patience for whatever situation this was turning into. "I interrogated Glasses a little before Koharu managed to get him, and all I understand is there was a _dare_ , and now I'm being hunted down like prey." 

"By a bunch of genin…?" 

"They've _invaded_ my life. You don't understand." He examined the empty skewers one by one, testing the sharpness on his pale fingers. Not even a mark. "They've managed to get my weapon's bag. They took all of my kunai with the _Hiraishin_ on them. How did they manage to get that? I have seals on _it._ This had to be Homura's work." Tobirama began muttering to himself, chewing on his lip in a nervous habit, and then began to go through his pockets. He pulled out handfuls of empty candy wrappers, ones that Madara recognized as being sold from Akimichi vendors, and he was scowling down at them. 

"They got my extra supplies too." He whispered, furious. "This is just insulting. I'm being _hunted_ and mocked by children. How did they get into my _pockets_ ?" There was a soft shuffling outside the office door, and Tobirama _froze_ like he was a rabbit about to be swept up by a falcon. His muscles tensed, his breathing stopped, and he _waited_.

Like he was waiting for all of his genin to just come bursting in and slaughter him like cattle. It was a mixture of hilarious and absolutely pathetic, and Madara was having a lot of mixed emotions about their date this weekend if he was really going to be beat by a bunch of twelve year olds. 

The shuffling stopped in front of the door. "Hokage-sama?" A woman's voice called out, knocking lightly. Neither of the men said a word, and after a moment, the footsteps departed away. 

Madara gave the man the most unimpressed stare he could manage. "Are you truly that afraid of a bunch of genin? You're going to cower here under your brother's desk?"

"Yes." Tobirama said immediately, and he didn't even look the least bit ashamed of it. "You haven't met these kids. I have to stay hidden before they find me. I'm being hunted."

"Hunted." Madara repeats, shaking his head. He throws a handful of pens down onto the floor, and then throws the stacks of papers down too. They flutter down like snow. "I-- you know what, I'm not dealing with this. Just get the paperwork done or no more tea breaks with me." 

Tobirama slinks out from under the desk, snatches up the pens and paper, and curls back into his hiding place.

**_____ **

Madara is not amused by the second day of hunting down Tobirama. 

It takes him two hours, thirteen minutes, and forty four seconds to find him while hefting three time-senstive scrolls, a stack of paperwork, his own files, two books Tobirama left at his house that he knew he'd need for today's trade negotiations, and an ink brush. 

When he does find him, Tobirama is found hanging upside on the ceiling of the bathroom on the third floor. He gives Madara a serene smile. 

"Thank you for bringing me my work, love." He said, genuine. Hanging from the roof like a bat, he extends a hand for his paperwork, and Madara _snorts._

And rolls his eyes. 

"This is getting very sad, Tobi." Madara says with a shake of his head, standing on his tiptoes to hand him the papers. "Very _sad_."

**_____ **

Kagami smiles up at him far too innocently and far too brightly. Madara could clearly see every single one of his pearly white teeth, and the boy clasped his hands in front of him innocently enough. 

"Madara-shishou!" He said cheerfully, tilting his head. It was adorable, but at the same time, Madara hadn't lived this long to be beat by a smile. He got goosebumps immediately, and he tensed slightly at the boy's unnatural grin. "Have you seen Tobirama-sensei? He's late for practice! And me and my team are _so worried_."

And if the kid isn't lying through his teeth. Even Madara knows Team Tobirama has been temporarily disbanded for a few weeks to let Tobirama get a handle on the issue of governing Konoha. 

(He knows because Tobirama sulked and threw himself around about it for days.)

Madara has a choice to make in this moment. He knows for a fact that Tobirama is hiding in the broom closet on the second floor, right next to the newly minted mission file room. Mostly because he had been forced to bring more paperwork to him to do in that closet, and as irritating as it was, Madara was also mildly impressed. 

So far he's found Tobirama hiding under the Hokage's desk, in a koi pond, at the top of the Hokage Monument, in the bathroom, underneath the floorboards of the Mission Assignment room in a secret compartment, in Mito-san's wardrobe, and the broom closet on the second floor. From what Madara understood, the children hadn't outright found him yet, as he manages to evade them, and he picked a new hiding spot every few hours. 

So he could rat him out right now, just to see exactly _what_ Tobirama was so afraid of. To him, a bunch of four feet tall overgrown toddlers wasn't much of a threat, although Madara had _also_ trained his little brothers to use their kunai and had many scars to prove it. So maybe a bunch of kids with pointy weapons could be deemed dangerous. Still, Madara isn't entirely sure what to do here. 

Shinobi aren't honorable, but generally spilling secrets or classified information was about as a low as a man could go, besides rape or outright slaughtering civilians or the unarmed. It was generally shameful too, to break and spill what one knows. It was a tear in reputation. Madara's been faced with _torture_ , and never spilled a single word or even made a sound, but he's also very curious. 

Reputation and honor vs wanting to watch a bunch of children hunt the man he loves? Madara weighs his options, thinks it over quickly, and settles on his choice. 

He rats Tobirama out without an ounce of regret. Hashirama _had_ been encouraging him to try new things now that everything was settled, and snitching was new to Madara, wasn't it? And it felt _great_. 

"In the closet?" Kagami blinks, but the tilt of his head is far too meaningful. He motions at two more children, a boy with a scar and a girl with a scowl. "I wouldn't have thought to look there." 

Madara offers a smile of his own, "He's spent most of his life in the closet, Kagami-kun." He said fondly, fighting back the bubbling excitement in his stomach at the wicked exchange of looks between the kids. "It's familiar to him."

"Oh." Kagami replied. "Well we'll have to go get him out!"

Madara really can't fight the smirk that rises to his face. He bites on his cheek hard, but it doesn't help him any. 

"I already tried, Kagami. Apparently, it didn't work."

**_____ **

He _misses_ it! He misses it! 

Before Madara could get up the stairs to the second floor, Hashirama pulls him into some meeting with delegates from the Village in the Middle of Nowhere, which somehow takes priority over watching Tobirama suffer, and he huffs the entire time. 

Apparently, the reason the meeting was cut short was because the delegates felt that they just "didn't have all of Uchiha-sama's full attention" and they would settle negotiations at a later date after everything in Konoha has been taken care of. Which infuriates Madara worse because not only did he get pulled into a meeting that he wasn't actually assigned to be in, but it turned out to be a massive waste of time because nothing actually gets done. 

He rushes out of the room, arms crossed, fighting back a glare that would set Ambassador What-is-his-name's hair into black flames. He wouldn't even think of it as a waste of Amaterasu, it would be worth it! 

Hashirama catches him by the shoulders, "Madara!" He exclaimed, face slipping into that same _disappointed pouty_ face that he gives to Madara when he forgets a scroll or threatens to stab him. "What was that? You were so distracted in there!"

"Well what was _that_?" Madara retorts, shoving away from him. "I handle inside negotiations with the other clans. Tobirama handles outside negotiations with the foreign villages."

"Well, I couldn't _find_ Tobi, so I had to have somebody with me. Have you seen him?" 

"No." Ah, and he's back to lying. It feels good, _better_. 

"He keeps disappearing! Poor Homura-kun couldn't even find him earlier, and even I didn't know where he was. I wonder what he's up to. All his students were so distraught."

Hashirama moves to stand next to his friend, but then his entire expression shifts into absolute confusion. He tilts his head to the side, and his eyebrows furrow. Madara turns, following his gaze, and can't help the snort that escapes. 

Tobirama marched down the hallway, furious, fists clenched by his sides. His face was bright red, all the way to the top of his ears, and he huffed in indignation at their staring. 

"Don't. Ask." He orders, slipping past them without a falter in his step. Oh no, there was a falter. He was limping. And he was a mess. 

His rabbit fur pelt was gone right off his yukata where it had been earlier, there was a thin cut across his forehead, and his hair and shoulders were soaking wet. Plus the limp. 

Madara and Hashirama watched him go, just staring at his back until he disappeared down the stairwell leading to the outside. The giant tree man blinked dumbly, his eyebrows still furrowed, mouth gaping like a fish. 

"I-- well, I suppose we found him."

"Yeah."

"You'll ask about it, right?" Hashirama asked, with a very tired sigh. "And let me know what that was about?"

Madara scoffed, "Of course."

**_____ **

"---my own fault. I don't know why I showed them how to conceal their chakra signatures. I didn't even see them coming." Tobirama curled up into Madara's personal space, nuzzling his neck. He was wrapped up in Madara's favorite blanket, and the Uchiha actually put his book down to pay attention to what was being said. 

"So they would be fully trained?"

Tobirama narrows his eyes, "At my own expense? It was supposed to be used to hide from enemies, not to prepare an ambush." He groaned, wrapping the blanket around him tighter, his hair tickling the side of Madara's face. "This dare can't go on much longer. It's almost been a week. I don't even know what the dare _is_ , but so far they've taken all of my weapons, ripped my favorite fur off of me, and I _think_ they've been trying to get inside my house."

"I doubt they're trying to get inside your house." Madara tells him mildly, although he isn't all that upset about the situation now. Grumpy Tobirama was a cuddly Tobirama, which was only a benefit for the Uchiha. He's content to be all cuddled and warm with his book about Indra and Asura, happily on his couch in his own house, with the rest of the world kept out. 

"My weapons. My fur. What's next?" Tobirama muttered bitterly, peppering kisses across Madara's jaw. "My happuri? What more can they take from me?"

"Your dignity? Or perhaps they've already gotten it?" Madara hums, catching the man's face between his palms, tilting his chin up. "They're children, Tobirama. Get over it. It was probably just the fur they wanted the whole time, and they were messing with you. It was just a dare. I remember being dared to steal Great-Aunt Yuriko's underwear." 

He ran a finger over Tobirama's chin, down the red marking there, and sighed contently. His boyfriend doesn't relax any, although his red eyes do soften. 

"And you did it?"

"Of course I did. I wasn't going to give Izuna the satisfaction of seeing me coward out." Madara lowers his voice, going for sultry and letting a smirk slide onto his face. "And you aren't going to be getting any _satisfaction_ tonight if you keep talking about those kids." 

Tobirama looked offended, bristling and ready to defend himself, but Madara pounced first. He presses his lips onto soft pale ones, smiling against Tobirama's kiss, and successfully shutting the man up. 

**_____ **

It _was_ actually the happuri they went after next. And Madara actually feels bad for dubbing Tobirama's worries as irrational, but more than anything, he's irritated at himself for once again _missing_ the action. 

Hashirama got to see it, however, and Madara has to lower his standards all the way down past ground level to make himself ask for as many details as he can get from the man. Thankfully, Hashirama is _thrilled_ to comply. 

"He's doing so well at teaching!" Hashirama tells him cheerfully, sipping at his steaming cup of tea. From the corner of Madara's eye, he can see Mito-san use her fan to hide a smirk that turns into a soft laugh. She takes the empty tray with her as she departs, and he gives her a thankful wave. "I think it was some sort of stealth exercise, or challenge, or something like that. But his students are so talented!" He gushed, preening like he was ultimately responsible for it because Tobirama was his brother.

"Oh?" Madara tries to hide his interest, but in reality he's grasping at straws to get all the details of how a handful of talking infants managed to get the happuri _off_ Tobirama's face so quickly. _Tobirama_. His boyfriend that seemed so…

Invincible. Faster than most shinobi with a mind that never slowed down. He was easily the brightest of their generation, though Madara would die before he actually admitted it, because he could create jutsu formula and chakra advancements faster than anyone else and more plentiful. He was brilliant. But somehow he managed to get jumped in the middle of lunch with his brother and got his own forehead protector stolen. 

It was the best news Madara has heard all week. 

"It was so well executed! I couldn't have dreamed of coming up with a plan like that when I was their age. I mean, I didn't even know that Tobi was tailing me when I was going to meet up with you." Hashirama gave a wince, like that was a bad memory even after so many years and a rekindled friendship. "But anyway, we were eating lunch with Mito when-- out of nowhere, I didn't even sense their presence-- smoke bombs come in through the window! It was barely cracked, but it was so precise!"

" _Mhmm…_."

As calm as he seemed, Madara really was at the edge of his seat. Well, metaphorically, seeing as they were kneeling on the engawa, but he's already picturing it in his head. 

"I thought perhaps it was _another_ assassination attempt, but thankfully Mito didn't even react, so I stayed calm. You remember little Torifu-kun, don't you? Junchou's son? Oh, yes you do know Junchou! She's the nice woman that makes--"

"Get to the point!" Madara grits out.

Hashirama pouts, shrinking in on himself, "Well, he comes out of the ceiling! And goes to grab him with the-- you know when the Akimichi make their hands big! But it's _Tobirama_ , so he moves out of the way with ease. Except there were two more kids right behind him, Kagami-kun and Saru, and they trapped him in that sticky water-style jutsu Tobi created. He might not have got caught if there hadn't been those little sparky-bombs thrown at him from the window again. It was so spur of the moment that even I was totally off-guard! Anyway, and then, when Tobirama was fighting off Saru and Torifu, stuck right there in that spot, Koharu-chan just _leaps_ out of the ceiling and grabs his happuri right off his face. And she takes off down the hallway, shrieking to retreat the entire time, as loud as she can. They all ran for their lives after that, but I don't blame them, Tobirama looked _murderous_. I got scared and ran too." 

Which, to be very honest, Madara doesn't blame him for, because he would have made a hasty exit too. But that churning, bubbling feel comes up from his stomach to his chest, and he wants to burst into laughter because he can already imagine _it_. He can imagine the absolute indignation on his boyfriend's face, the shock twisting into rage, and then the desperation of swatting at those kids like they were flies. Tobirama would never actually hurt those kids, Madara knew that, meaning he really couldn't go full force on them. 

Although, there were a bunch of them. Accidentally crippling one or two wouldn't hurt Konoha that much, but Madara digressed on _that_ situation because that made the whole point of having a safe-for-kids village null and void. 

"My night's going to be terrible then." Madara lets his head thump against the table, spilling the tea across his hair, and he huffs. "Grumpy is fine. Irritated, I can manage. But furious? Our date night on Sunday is going to be miserable."

And he really _really_ wanted it to be a good night. He needed it to be a good night, he was ready for it because the last few weeks have been beyond stressful. Besides the fact that the anniversary of Izuna's death had been a month ago, the Hyūga and the Yamanaka were arguing over space in the shopping district, his cousin Hikaku was threatening to burn his house down if he didn't stop shoving all of his paperwork onto him, and his falcons hadn't been listening very well. 

Plus, Tobirama only told him he loved him twice in the past three days, and that was really putting a damper on things. 

So he needed date night. He needed it like he needed air because it was the one night a week that Hashirama left him the hell alone, where he didn't have to deal with tedious paperwork or annoying clansmen arguing over chickens or...well, again no _Hashirama_ gushing over Mito or the new bloom in the Sakura tree or how amazing his baby brother was. It was the one night a week that Tobirama got all dressed up and mushy and emotional, and he bought Madara whatever he wanted to eat for dinner, and then they got dango, and it was wonderful. 

(And there was a new restuarant that served inarizushi, and Madara wanted to _go_. Food tasted better when the Senju paid for it.)

And these brats weren't going to ruin it. 

"Oh, it was just a little training exercise. No harm done. They'll give it back and everything's going to be fine." But Hashirama looked far too happy and far too _knowing_ about the whole situation for Madara to feel at ease. His eyes were calm and amused, and for a second, he thinks he's in a conspiracy. 

Hashirama didn't _know_ about the dare, did he? 

And did he condone it?

Madara narrows his eyes at his closest friend, sipping his tea as threateningly as possible. 

"Right. No harm done."

He's going to find a way to cheer Tobirama up before date night is ruined. 

**_____ **

So on Saturday night, Madara does what he's best at to give tomorrow's date a fighting chance. 

He's going to seduce him. A good fuck was the easiest way to put them _both_ in a good mood. 

He sprawls out over Tobirama's futon, trying to pick the best position to make the man want him the most. It wasn't hard to do, actually. He pins his hair up into a bun, wears his thinnest red gown and he lets it slip down his shoulders, open to show his chest. There are candles lit around them, the lavender scented ones that he knew the Senju preferred. 

He lays on his side, legs spread, on his forearm. Just a few minutes before he knows that Tobirama's bound to arrive home, and he makes a point to chew on lips a little until they swelled just the way he knows that'll drive Tobirama _wild_. 

Except Tobirama isn't on time. 

Which is fine. Madara's arms start to ache so he flips over, letting his hair fall out of the bun a little to give him the mussed up look, and rearranges his legs. 

And still no Tobirama. 

But Madara waits, because he's saving date night. He knows Hashirama likes to steal his brother away to drink, or he indulges sake in his office and has Tobirama take him home, or Tobirama gets so consumed in paperwork he just forgets about sleep and home altogether. 

He waits and waits until the candles die out. Until he's tired and cold in the thin silk, and he curls up under the covers. And then Madara's out like a light in the warmth of the sheets. 

Until he wakes up to the seals of Tobirama's house breaking violently. Not released, but broken. Madara flinched back, blurrily looking at the sky through the window. It was dark with the stars glittering up, and he thinks maybe it's an attack, but the chakra that dispelled the seals isn't advanced. It was a large burst of wild chakra, maybe from several people, but it wasn't strong and it wasn't precise. 

Childish?

He lays still, but he already has a kunai in hand. The one that Tobirama keeps under his pillow. And he waits. It takes a few minutes, and he hears shuffling around and things moving. No lights are turned on, but footsteps are heading towards him. 

So are voices. 

"We need to hurry-- guys, stop! Don't break any of Sensei's things." 

Something falls. _Thud._ Something broke. 

"Oh Kami, Saru, knock it off. I want out of here. Let's just find it and go. Kagami can't keep Tobirama-sensei distracted all night."

 _So that's what happened. It's the children. The babies with fine motor skills_. Madara huffs, sitting up and fixing his robe, tying it as tight as he could. 

"Going coward on us, Saru?"

"Shut up, Homura. I'll show you a coward."

"Both of you shut up and look for it. I want to be done. He's going to finally snap and kill us. Kagami's puppy dog eyes aren't going to protect us when Tobirama-sensei finally loses his temper." 

A snort, "He has the patience of a saint, he's not going to hurt us. Besides, it was a _dare_ . We have to finish it." The bedroom door swings open with a _loud creak_ , because shinobi are wise enough to keep such noises to alert them of intruders. The light flips on. "Oh Kami, there it is--"

Madara raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. 

"And what _exactly_ are you looking for, brat?"

The boy in front, Tobirama's favorite student, lets out a very unmanly squeak. He stumbles backwards, eyes darting the boys next to him. Scar and Glasses both tense up, eyes wide as saucers, and Saru stumbles out a response. 

"Madara-sama! I was-- Tobirama-sensei was sending us to pick up-- I mean, why are _you_ here? You aren't supposed to be here right now! In Sensei's house when...when he's not here!" The Sarutobi boy crossed his arms, giving him a nervous once over like Madara was the intruder (maybe he was). Like he'd somehow gained some kind of authority over Tobirama's house and belongings. 

Too late, Madara had every authority over it, because he planned on marrying that man someday. This was all going to be his eventually anyway. 

"Now, brats." He stands up, brushing himself off and twirling the kunai around his finger. "You've caught me at a very irritated time. And unlike Tobirama, I'm not so cool tempered. You aren't my students and you aren't my falcons, so there really aren't any affection to save you from me. I have no _problem_ beating the life out of you." 

That was a big fat lie. Tobirama would actually _murder_ him if he laid a hand on any of these kids past a couple of bruises and maybe one stab each. Actually, maybe even if he glared in their direction. He'd never admit it, but regardless of how irritating they were, Tobirama was a very doting and loving mother bear to them (most of the time) and might actually maul Madara. 

And Madara isn't actually keen on beating up children, no matter how annoying or inconviencing they might be. 

But they didn't know that. 

"So _who_ wants to explain? Hm? Or should we start this dance now?" He twirled the kunai again for good measure. Glasses pales, swallowing hard. He fidgets, and Madara _knows_ which one is going to break first. 

"Glasses." He points the kunai at him directly. "I'll give you a chance first. Explain."

" _Homura_." Scar warns, but quiets up when Madara turns his gaze to him. He even activates his Sharingan for good measure. The boy withered, backing down. 

"It was a dare, Madara-sama!" Glasses spilled, like a broken cup. "We all dared each other to steal Tobirama-sensei's things until we had the full outfit. His armour, his weapons, his fur, his happuri, and...other things. All of his important stuff!"

Oh by Indra's fucking bones, if that isn't exactly what Madara needed to hear right now. He actually snorts, shaking his head, trying to get his thoughts together. All of this mess for a uniform. But to their credit, they were doing very well of actually stealing all of it.

"We only gave ourselves a week to get it all. It was like a teamwork sort of thing. Maybe a prank too, just to get to mess around with Sensei." Sarutobi admitted, hands behind his back, looking earnest and embarrased. 

"And revenge." Scar says bluntly. "Because he had been pushing us so hard in training that it's almost cruel. And those _stupid bells_ he uses-- it was just fun to mess with him while our team's been temporarily disbanded."

"Are you going to tell him?" Glasses asked, wide-eyed. "Are you going to _kill_ us?"

"I might kill you." Madara replied bluntly, although he lowered his knife to his side. (And Tobirama might kill him if he did it.) "But I've already ratted somebody out this week, and it doesn't feel so great now. So I won't tell. But you brats are ruining my week, so you need to hurry up and finish this stupid bet-prank-revenge scheme you have going on. What else do you still need to steal?"

Sarutobi gasps, "You'll _help_ us?" He asked, a mix of excitement and shock. "Why would you help us?"

"My own reasons."

_I like seeing Tobirama flustered and outsmarted._

"We need his armour." The boy points behind Madara, in the corner by the wardrobe where the achingly familiar blue armour was set down neatly. "And uh…"

"And?"

The brat's face was bright red. He mumbled out something that Madara didn't quite catch. 

"Say it again, brat, before I lose my temper." 

"We have rewards. We all contributed some money from our missions!" The boy whimpered out. "On...on the harder things to get. And that's why we work as teams. We just split the money, and compete against each other. The armour was one of the hardest things, but uh...we also...to win the most money would be…"

"We have to steal Tobirama-sensei's--" Scar sputtered, covering his face in humiliation. "We have to steal you. You were the finale. So we'd have all of Tobirama's important things." 

And it sort of hits Madara that he's a mixture between irritated warmth and annoyed all at once. He's almost touched that the kids consider him as one of Tobirama's prized possessions, but then again it's also very weird that a bunch of tall toddlers think he's a belonging. 

"And then…?"

"And then _what_?" 

"Well, what's the endgame? One of you just wanders into his office wearing his stuff, hopefully with me walking beside you? That's not much. A let down, actually, considering how much paranoia you've instilled in the man. No, _no_. We need a plan."

"We?" Glasses echoes. 

"Yes, _we_." Madara replies easily. "I ought to get something out of this, and my night's already ruined." He points his knife at them. "Anything to say?"

Wisely, they don't open their mouths.

  
  


Well, one of them did. 

"Madara-sama, why are you dressed like that?"

**_____ **

Girl comes running into the room, hiding a smile. She's holding one of the marked kunai in her hand, huffing and panting, eyes wide. 

"He's coming!" She hissed, glancing behind her. She dives behind the desk, Tobirama's desk, where Madara is sitting. The other kids are huddled nearby with a whole range of new emotions. Going from smug to downright sweating. 

Madara snorts, leaning back in his seat, feeling far too proud about the entire situation. He shifts, the blue armour a little too wide and too long for him. The happuri was an unwanted pressure against his face, annoying and the fur was too hot, but it felt like a victory. 

The door slams open. "Koharu, you are in so much trou--" Tobirama storms in, but stops. He blinks, his bright red eyes widening. His mouth hung open like a fish, and he blinked as dumbly as his brother often did. "Madara…?"

"Tobirama."

"What are you doing?"

"I got your stuff back for you." Madara motioned around at the room full of genin. "And I gathered all of the little thieves, just for you."

"You got my stuff back." Tobirama repeats, still blinking like a rabbit facing a fox. "Why are you wearing it?"

Madara glanced down at the blue, nuzzling into the fur. "To make sure it doesn't get stolen, obviously, since you can't seem to keep it yourself." He gives him a wide smile. "And you are more than welcome to have it back, _after date night_."

Tobirama's lips purse and his arms cross, "You're holding my stuff hostage?"

"Yes." Madara admits, unashamed, crossing his arms too. "And if you're lucky and everything goes well, you get to take all of your stuff _off_ me tonight." 

Two of the kids _gagged_ . The girl flushed red, muttering something, but that brave _brave_ Sarutobi kid decides to pipe up. 

"I thought this was going to be rewarding! An endgame."

Madara rolled his eyes, "It is rewarding. For me. Now, you brats have a new assignment, don't you? If you want your little reward money back." He tangled the purse in front of their easy fooled little faces. Scar scowled, muttering under his breath, stomping out with the rest of them follow. 

Kagami gives him a hateful stare. 

"This was _low_ , Madara-shishou. _We_ did all the work, and you're the only one that's benefitting."

He shrugged. 

"Life isn't fair, Kagami. You should be grateful I'm not punishing you for your actions. Thievery is a crime, and I care more when it's someone I love." 

Kagami huffed and slipped out of the office, face bright red and fists clenched. Tobirama finally snapped out of his stupor, offended. 

"We aren't punishing them?" He asked, rounding the desk, coming to a stop in front of Madara. He pressed his fingers fondly into the fur collar, then let his fingers move up across Madara's cheeks. His fingers are cool and soft, and Madara leans into the touch, feeling far too victorious. 

"Oh, they'll be punished soon enough." Madara tells him, standing up and smiling. "Their new assignment is to steal a hair pin from Mito."

Tobirama smirked, delighted. "She's going to _destroy_ them." He whispered, leaning down to press a quick kiss against Madara's face. He tasted like mint and water, and Madara _melted_ against him. 

As soon as he finally parted, Madara gasped for breath, his cheeks hot. 

"I can't say I'm too angry with them." Tobirama murmurs into his ear. "You look... _wonderful_ in my clothes."

Madara laughs breathlessly, "You should be angry with yourself. They managed to get the jump on you two times and stole all your stuff. You're lucky I got it all back." But he's got that horribly warm, fuzzy feeling going on his chest and stomach again, and he's happy and content and so okay. 

Tobirama rolled his eyes, huffing. 

"I could've gotten it back."

"Even if they gave you puppy dog eyes?"

Tobirama huffed again, "Let's start date night. We'll make it a date day, since you got my stuff back." And maybe he changed the subject, but that was alright. 

Madara was going to get his inarizushi. 

* * *


End file.
